Happy Valentine’s Day, Chinese New Year and Homecoming!

If you haven’t found a fitting gift for your sweetheart it’s probably not too late. I’m one of the lucky ones, not only do I get adequate spam from various vendors of appropriately themed tchotchkes I also am well organized and forward oriented in my use of something called a calendar. I highly recommend them; they’ve been in use in one design or another for some time and can be used to ensure you don’t miss any upcoming or recurring events.  My lovely editor helped me plan our mutual gifting, our shared favorite a night away from the chaos of the rug rats who will observe the holiday with grandma. There will be the expected surprise of course, but she generously sets the bar low making it easy for me.

Speaking of calendars and recurring events though – things that happen again and again like revolutions, there is way too much angry, paranoid, socially withdrawn talk out there about revolutions again. I don’t want to revisit the Stop It post, so I won’t. The recent open justice ‘revelations’ about the torture program carried out by the CIA is nothing new. The DOJ memo discussing and endorsing the legal killing of citizens (including minors) with remote control robots and without due process is nothing new either. I would encourage those who are in opposition to these abusive policies carried out in their names to use the processes we have to oppose them, reverse them and restore some semblance of sanity and accountability. But in the spirit of the holiday let’s not take any hostages okay?

As a nation we collectively watched as one little boy with some social developmental difficulties was taken hostage, after his unarmed citizen defender was gunned down by some very angry old fellow and held for a week in a bunker. Did you know the gunman and hostage taker was a veteran? You probably couldn’t escape that “fact”.

No word on the military status of the bus driver, the hero in this episode.

Nor has the DoD officially verified that this kidnapper fellow was a veteran or that he served honorably.  It’s alleged he was a Vietnam era vet and thus possibly a draftee from another era, another time – hardly representative of all veterans.  Since his service some 40 year ago he has become a wholly different person. His life since Nam has since shaped and altered him over time far more than his service might reasonably be blamed for.

This kidnapper’s service had nothing to do with his killing of the bus driver, or his decision to be a violent sociopath – we have many of those in the civilian populace to which he belonged to until being killed by our government. Rumor has it his neighbors knew this man was dangerous but no one reached out to him – why? Are we not our brother’s keeper in the age of ever expanding friend networks across the World Wide Web? Do we embrace only those at a safe distance and ignore our neighbors as a matter of course?  

I for one am tired of hearing servicemen and women smeared as damaged or incapable, less equal and dangerous because of PTSD which does not make one violent. We don’t look at victims of other trauma that can cause PTSD (rape for instance) and marginalize them as ticking time bombs of violence waiting to go off. Why not? Because it’s not right, it’s quite stupid. Somehow the media and pop culture has decided they get a pass on civility and are allowed to smear veterans and military service writ large. The former Navy sniper killed this past week by a fellow veteran wasn’t just murdered in cold blood in a horrible tragedy; he was killed by a veteran with PTSD (whom he was trying to help). We might never know the details, and perhaps that’s for the best but nor should we be suggesting that PTSd is to blame.

First, it’s not a disorder, post-traumatic stress is a normal reaction to trauma, its normal and we heal with time usually, though sometimes a little help is necessary. Symptoms vary widely but it’s hardly a disorder. Second, not every veteran has it, not everyone who has it is a veteran and PTS, while presenting different ways is not normally violent. I do make the mistake of blaming my dad’s violent tendencies on PTS in TO&S but that isn’t fair – I too guilty of the conditioning by the media anxious to avoid attributing it to a character flaw in his own nature but it wasn’t the PTS that mad my dad prone to violent outbursts.  

It’s Valentine’s Day, enjoy and celebrate the spirit of romantic and filial love. Say hello to a neighbor even if he may not be the friendliest chap, maybe he or she is just lonely or enduring a loss. Perhaps it’s seasonal affected disorder. Stop being angry at the government for making our veteran’s ticking time bombs or shredding the constitution or what have you – take a deep breath, smell the roses and eat a chocolate truffle with a loved one, a neighbor, your cat – a picture of an old friend and be happy for a moment. No one you can think of? Go hug a veteran coming home off a plane. Lots of them come home to empty apartments or in the case of sailors an empty pier. Bring one flowers; guys like flowers too.

This would be an appropriate occasion to write a letter to your wife, girlfriend or even your mom.  And if for some reason you are unable to be excited and happy for the holiday, say you’re not catholic or don’t believe in saints or hallmark holidays guess what? Chinese new year’s is just around the corner (Feb 10^th) and I promised a post about it but I’ll be neck deep in adventure this weekend (of the romantic kind) and so a brief update of the prior new year’s post next week will have to suffice. Mom, Sis, if you’re reading this I love you both. My lovely editor gets her sentiments in analog format. Wolf, Alvie, Josh and Nick (both of you) I love you guys too - better brothers couldn't be wished for or coceived in the wildest work of fiction - I'm forever proud to have been in your company.

Good luck out there folks, keep your head on a swivel and remember when gifting – there is an art to understatement don’t get crazy!