Monday, December 31, 2012

No One Asked, 2012 In Review with Bonus Wife Haiku!

It’s time for the obligatory year in review. But I don’t really want to do a trite retrospective on the past year, I would prefer to use the Chinese New Year to mark that occasion and we’ll do a full review then, watch for it in February. If I had to do a review of 2012 now, what would I start with?
First, for all you cowboys fans, let me talk you back from the edge, Romo will be your quarterback for at least another year, you’ve got nothing to worry about – no playoffs in 2013 either, you should be more or less used to it by now.
And speaking of cliffs, falling and failing, government continues to show us why, even in its best form it is only a necessary evil (thank you Thomas Paine) and this government is far from anything you might describe as “best”. Besides accelerating profligate spending mortgaging our future (death note – how did that catch on?) they’ve signed legislation to permit detaining of US citizens without due process in the 2012 NDAA, we've killed US citizens including minors, using robot drones without due process (in Yemen?), disclosed that the soul selling torture program didn’t yield useful intelligence and just extended warrantless wiretapping for another five years, all on the heels of some state police trooper giving 3 citizens a completely unnecessary (punitive) cavity search on a busy roadside.
Terrorism is down, school shootings and murders of children in areas with strict gun controls are up. It’s important to note that though there were seven theatres close to the batman shooter in Colorado, the one he chose was the only one that boasted it was a “gun free” (i.e. defenseless victim) zone. The shooter was smart enough to choose a smaller theatre, further away from his house where he knew there was virtually no chance he would face returning fire.
Yet government still seeks to disarm more of us. Intolerable.
I might own a firearm, I might not. I certainly have in the past. I’ve even sold some of my old guns. If the government wants mine anytime soon...


Though I work for the government, I am by no means its representative or under any obligation to waive my rights as a citizen. Excepting that I cannot run for partisan public office under the “Hatch Act”. No big deal, my life hardly centers on government. If it did I would have had a terrible year indeed!
Fortunately, I’m a Redskins fan. And I’ve been waiting more than ten years to be able to say “fortunately” and “Redskins” in the same sentence. So that’s a great thing, though not the greatest. Some folks are on the radio talking about how this win last night by the Skins over the Boys (28-18) is the happiest day of their lives others are comparing their joy with that of the birth of their children. Quite insane, amusing but also worrisome for the priorities American’s might have now. I could see a fan choosing to go to a game while his wife languishes in labor alone to deliver their first child.
Two parent families are an increasingly rarity these days, and while I suspect some would chose to go to the game, many won’t have to choose or even be aware that their ‘baby-mommas” will deliver until they get a text message from a relative or an invite to Maury.
I am thankful that I didn’t have to choose between the birth and football; all of my kids were born in the off season or early in the season, and none on a Sunday. The final member of the brood, readers know, arrived in April during the lockout negotiations. The completion of my family, now only missing a large dog is one of the greatest developments of 2012.
The only event that rivals the arrival of KB is something that I hope will continue into 2013 and beyond. My lovely editor continues to defy time and space – sorry Einstein. And I don’t pay her enough to invest in miraculous and expensive beauty treatments but she is getting prettier and younger even as I crumble having lost some ½ and inch in height this year. I’m not worried; she was out of my league to begin with, now she’s a trophy wife. I am awed by how she has managed to do it. I suspect it’s something in the ice cream or cookies, maybe the clean country air? I have no idea…something in the water out here in Gettysburg perhaps?
Speaking of my lovely editor, here is her New Year’s Eve Haiku – please to enjoy:
Another year gone
Time to face new adventures
Glad it’s with you, kiss

2012 was so busy for me; I hardly had a chance to blink. I blinked, had a kid, blinked wife got prettier, blinked a couple more times and curiously I shrank. I blinked again and government was misbehaving and the Redskins went from 3-6 to #4 seed in the playoffs as division champs. My warranty on my car expired as I’ve surpassed 36k miles (last week). I didn’t learn a new language, pick up another hobby, make much in the way of new friends, find a new job or finish my novel. I did manage to finish school and my first book; I got a twitter account (blech), opened this joint, I more than doubled charitable contributions (legit charities IRS) and added a new dimension to my career even as I closed the book on the military aspect, retiring from the Navy though the legal battle there over my status will go on into 2013.
2012 was a wonderful year for me and my family. We can look back on a year of getting more comfortable in our newly adopted hometown, in our new home and with our new neighbors. Certainly we are looking forward to next year, I plan to begin martial arts and music instruction for my kids this year though some might say I’m behind the 8ball on the music, timing is about right for kung-fu.
2013 might be crazy folks, be careful out there. The government is hell bent for leather to do who knows what or why (or shut itself down), al-qaeda is still out there, mentally ill shut-ins and angry adolescents have easier access to weapons than you do, including futuristic remote-controlled flying robots with guns (go to you tube search quadrotor and professional Russian) and folks with misguided priorities are shamelessly abandoning their families to see a kids game played by millionaires in bright costumes. Who knows what might happen?!? Keep your head on a swivel, and keep your powder dry, good luck!


Monday, December 10, 2012

Holiday Haiku

It's been a busy holiday season and very tough to write anything not exclusively for my employerI've been researching Dragon 12 home edition to see if that's something that might be useful for me and I suspect that yes it is. 

My ongoing dispute with the Navy has moved to a new phase and nearing conclusion for better or worse. It's not a primary concern now. 

What is important is making sure we look out for each other. Not just our family and friends but all of us, our communities at large. Though I was able to increase my donations this year to the Gettysburg Community Soup Kitchen by giving in the summer, when their annual winter solicitation mailer arrived I felt disappointed when I had to check the smallest suggested donation amount this year. I wanted to give more, and worried they'd notice we had reduced our donation not taking into account the check I sent in July. So I wrote a tiny memo on the return form saying "sorry it's not more, we sent out donation in the summer". I hope my silly note defending my insecurity elicits a laugh at least. 

I lost the mailer from the fire department and the SSCS accidentally got a little extra this year for the Southern Ocean Campaign. Adventures in giving...

But taking care of each other isn't just about money for charities. It is about those closest too us too, thankfully they don't usually need money -- well they generally lack the gall to just come out and ask for it though I'm sure they could use it. I have a dear friend who is in dire need this year. I think what he needs most is a laugh now and then. That's the best I can do for him anyway considering the distance separating us. Sometimes there is no substitute for being able to look a pal in the eye and reassure them with your presence, a hand on a shoulder or a jab in the arm punctuating a joke. You can't e-mail that, but this is my attempt. 

Today our office held the annual Morlock basement holiday luncheon. My office partner and Dr. O at my table with the events gracious host decided to talk about Haitian and Guatemalan public sanitation standards and I didn't remain for long after two failed attempts to redirect the conversation to something more appropriate. I reported to my far away crestfallen friend about the event describing how I over ate and I almost wrote a Haiku. I decided I would finish it and gift it to my friend for the holiday - so this one is for you. Sorry if it isn't appropriate for table talk but it reflects the season, the event and the situation I described above rather completely I believe. 


Holiday party
Ate too much fried chicken skin
Nap now, then go poo

Yes it is not a perfect "Haiku" but I'm not Japanese either. You might remember friend when e-mail signatures were still new and sometimes funny, not such an annoyance. I had signed mine with the Emperor's haiku he sent to his government asking for restraint before the Pearl Harbor attack...silly, but good times.


UPDATE: My lovely editor has gotten in the spirit, also thank you Ed for your contribution. Here is the revised version and my editors own Holiday Haiku.

Original revised:
Holiday Party
Too much chicken to eat, nom
Nap then second plate
Editor's Haiku
Christmas time is here
Too many gifts to wrap, boo!
Now i need a drink
Well done sweetie!