Friday Film Fun

Tis nice to have a little fun on Friday. In the basement we watch movies. PG stuff so that guests aren't offended or frightened away. In our lobby here in the basement. I starting doing that about a month or six weeks ago. Makes the day go much quicker. You see the government doesn't work on Fridays.

We have alternate work schedules, and so a significant portion of the work force is off every other Friday and Monday. On the other Monday or Friday a lot of folks burn a leave day (and some how never run out of them) or telework - which means they've gone fishing.

Congress doesn't even bother pretending to work 5 days a week, they only work Tues-Thurs. I wish I had a three day work week, seems that would be the right balance. I can do as much as I do in 5 days in 3 or 2 really since there is significant down time - spent awaiting replies from folks who don't work everyday like I do.

Friday's are quiet here in the basement so movies were the perfect thing. We can't all agree on music here or which news radio station to stream on the computers, so movies and film which I talk about a bit in TO&S that are family friendly-ish, we all agree on. Today we got a little crazy and watched the ultra violent Independence Day special edition and Jurassic Park III which features a kid in more peril than in the previous two, the tween/pre-teen is nearly eaten at one point - it's quite terrible but thankfully he gets out alive faring better than half the humans in the cast.

ID is harmless fun, violent explosions but otherwise ridiculous. The aliens aren't terribly interesting and the jokes aren't great but even bad movies are fun and can bring the team together for a laugh or two. Next is Over the Hedge, without a doubt, Bruce Willis's best work. Then I go home to give gramma her gifts for watching the monsters so the wife and I can go out, she deserves and I've tried to keep at least one day a week - usually Friday, kitchen cooking and clean up free at night. We can't always go out anymore like we could before inflation destroyed our financial picture but tonight we're gonna try.

Last night we took the little ones out to Wells Family Bakery which is excellent (try the cheese cake) for their fun night out this week. The bakery is keeping later hours now, just so locals can have another desert option - Merican's need more desert options and the wife and I might pop in there tonight for some hot apple cider after we try the (questionable) sushi selection at the place she wants to try but has mixed reviews and so will go unnamed here.

But the Bakery is awesome - go there, just a few doors down if you're in town is the best pub too the Gary Owen, the benburburger (the lamb one) is awesome and they make their chips in house too. great beers on tap and a strong bottle selection. Just don't take my table please. Thank you I don't get to take the wife out much and I'd hate to find a 45 minute wait again when we only have the sitter for 2 hours.

Christmas Shopping

This is going to be tough this year. I haven't monetized this blog and most of my traffic is my sister and some folks in Russia. If you Russian guys are tuning in today I'd like one of those "Professional Russian" hoodies with the backwards 'R' that guy is always wearing when he blows stuff up on youtube. He's funny, and yes I'm sure he's not at the peak of his popularity but his kind of mildly subversive fun is timelessly and harmlessly funny. Except to the items he destroys and perhaps some of his friends who may or may not be missing fingers.

Yes it's not even Halloween yet, but after that favorite holiday everything moves really quickly with 2 birthdays and thanksgiving which I've you know my love of turkey and gravy, you understand the planning and work that goes into making that right.

And friends are important (more so than bacon or gravy but about equal to the two combined). Their importance of course is inversely proportional to the number of friends you have. I have very few and like heroes they're wonderfully imperfect people, like me they're a little bit different but they're all family men, and men of Honor and all very hard to shop for!

My lovely wife is hard to shop for too, she doesn't think so I'd imagine but she is. It's not because she's high maintenance or has expensive taste, not at all nor is she a demanding bully or anything like that. She's happy with attention and time spent away from the daily grind of diapers and schlepping kids to the day care, grocery store and grasshopper (Panda's word for gas station). And of course with my wonderful gift for gifting I've set the bar too high too early in the relationship in my all out hell bent for leather bid to woo her.

Mission accomplished.

Still friends are hard to find gifts for. Especially when they're all cast far and wide across the world. I wish I knew how Vinny was doing with his exotic aggressive cancer diagnosis. I'd sure like to see him again, and the rest of the Brick Flight too. Good buncha troopers. I got friends nearby I get to see some time or at least talk to regularly I'd sure like to see them away from the daily grind maybe with the wives too so we can all have a laugh and buy those guys a beer.

The First Class Mess break up was most unfortunate. We couldn't talk Kris out of separating. I can't blame him for not re-enlisting under the circumstances he felt his time was wasted there though I hope he didn't mean with the Mess. I talked to Jeff the other day we talked about catching the NY / WAS game when the G-men come to town. It probably won't happen FedEx field isn't a cheap ticket but I'd like to do that and call that a Xmas gift for all in attendance.

That would be great for some of us but some friends, like Vinny have serious problems and are in a dark place. A football game or a pint isn't going to be enough to lift them, and they could probably use a bit more help with whatever troubles them. For my part I'd like to help but I find myself awkwardly unable to find simple words of comfort even. One of my friends is having the classic marital problems for example, he tells me that its tough for him and though I've been through similar but simpler problems I can't find any thing more to say than "I'm here if you need me" I hope that friend knows I mean it, he was there for me when I needed him and I owe him nothing less.

Those are the kind of bonds you can only form under fire, be it from the enemy or an angry Colonel who wants this or that metric, spreadsheet or report you don't have ready access to. Sometimes I tell folks I've never been prouder of what I did in the Army, but I think it's less what I did than who I was with that I'm proud of. Those great friendships the 28th Infantry, USS Enterprise and 1st Class Mess I realize are what kept me going back despite all of the personal challenges, disappointments and sacrifices required to be a part of that. Yes, I've read and heard all of the stories of veterans saying precisely this and didn't always understand it. Seems I'm a very slow learner. Thanks guys, while I no longer stands the watch this year I might only be able to gift you my gratitude and a salute.

And to you professional russians, nothing to see here everything is just fine. Yes I saw recently in Pravda that you guys have put long range missiles back into Cuba right under our noses - how rascally! But Pravda is only marginally more credible than the Onion, though Iran hasn't got that memo, please inform them when you send them your annual christmas letter and box of hickory farms.

Happy Halloween Folks!

Sigrunn's Saga III

Before the sun rose she halted, relieved the bleeding had stopped. She rubbed some dirt and spit together in her gloved hands to make fresh mud to cover the wound.  She avoided contact with any one she saw from the scrub as she headed north towards the mountain. The next afternoon she noticed a man was following her, he looked like one of her people and she suspected he was tracking her for the Jarl who surely wanted her as dead as she wished him to be. She did her best to avoid him but he was quickly overtaking her. He seemed to know where she was going and so she decided to make a stand.

She set a trap to injure him and laid in ambush. Soon he was close and she recognized him as the hunter Harard. Though she was over six feet tall, he was more than twice her bulk, heavily muscled and unarmored able to move quickly. She didn’t know where the quiet Harard’s allegiance was; with the Jarl and the new god or with her and the old way. She thought she could beat him as he had no shield or mail but worried who else would be sent and she coulnd't help but feel slighted to learn only one tracker had been sent to bring her down.

For his part Harard had no trouble tracking the heavily encumbered, wounded and fatigued princess, unaccustomed to long marches in the wilderness. She had taken pains to avoid detection meaning she had to take still more time moving through concealment blazing her own trail. This left an obvious path for any hunter could follow from more easily traveled ground. He had spotted her ambush from beyond bow shot but could not see her. He guessed where she was hiding and headed for the trap to lure her out. He reached the snare and called out “princess I am Harard, I come as an ally, show yourself!”

She readied her axe “go home while you still can hunter tell the Jarl I’ll be back for him in my own time.”

“Princess I serve you and Vatun. After you cut down the missionary the Jarl sent a party out to kill you but they ran into the dwarfs seeking the one who had killed two of their own near our village.”

She gave a look around to see if he had others with him. “Where is your hunting party Harard? Your sons?”

“I am alone but they are coming if the dwarfs did not clash with the Jarl's men, they’ll be following you too, following me and I have no sons.”

“Why are you here then?” she quizzed him.

“The dream, the wooden castle was a prison. The witch a servant of his foes - a warden! You saw his prison; I was with you trapped there too. I quit the hunting party when I had the dream, there are others in the village who would rally to your banner and kill the heretic Cuthbert men and make slaves of the dwarves.”

Sigrunn’s belly rumbled hungrily “You seek then to join me? To answer his call if that’s what this vision is?”

“Yes, if you seek to steal into his prison to free him I swear my life is yours to command, my steel shall not fail you!”

Arrogantly she asserted her rank “you seek only to enter my bed, and you will not no matter how cold the night! And we shall see how true your brave words are soon I sense…”

Harard sensing their shouted conversation has attracted attention steps closer to her hiding place, sidestepping the snare prompting her to show herself “Princess, you are beautiful and I will live to see you eat your words on both counts.” He raises his yew bow and notches an arrow turning away from her shifting his attention and aim towards something approaching. She looks past him squinting to see what approaches from out of the sun – it’s a pair of the Jarl's men. They hurl a spear over her head as a sacrifice to the god and advance drawing their heavy broad swords from their sides, one of the warriors speaks “good job Harard, now step aside.”

“I’m not done with her yet you’ll have to wait for your turn.”

Sigrunn wastes no time on talk she leaps to the attack finding her strength suddenly renewed she lands to the side of her foe, swinging wildly feigning incompetence and madness, bait the warrior takes. He lazily steps aside to strike her down, his foot falling into her snare and he howls as he hears his ankle snap, pierced by the spikes placed inside the concealed knee deep hole. He drops to his side dropping his blade as Harard draws fires point blank into the other man’s eye. The arrows haft punches out the back of his skull, knocking the helmet from his head. He falls in a crumpled heap. The screams of the wounded man becomes a pleading for mercy as Sigrunn kicks his sword away and knocks his helmet off with her axe. Raising her weapon over her head she turns to Harard “how many more?”

“There were eight of us princess” Harard answers sullenly – suddenly consumed with sorrow for the loss of the men – friends of his until now. 

The wounded man cries out “the others are with the dwarfs, as prisoners – they might be killed if we do bring you to them in three days’ time!”

 “Then they will die, traitors to god as shall you…”

“NO!” he cries his last as she brings her axe down across his throat cutting deeply into his chest. He falls over sideways, his head dangling backwards, partly severed from his body propped up by his armor, shield and her trap holding his broken leg in place.

Sigrunn warns Harard to “take their mail, if more come we’ll need it. Leave their bodies for the crows they deserve no peace in the other world. They die cowards without a name, forget them” she hacks away the dead men’s faces with quick strokes of her axe and helps Harard to strip them. Once their work is done Harard asks “why are we heading to the mountain princess, what do we seek there?”

“God knows, I do not. Before we go, do you have any food?”

He pulls a wrapped cake from his pack saying “the dead man’s wife made these for us” as he hands it to her.

Sigrunn unwrapped the tiny soft cake and stuffed it whole into her mouth, her eyes lit up happily “mmm…” she chewed and swallowed it and without a hint of remorse then declared “that’s good cake” tucking her axe away in its sheath. The pair started into a jog and made their camp with a mixed group of miners; men and dwarves that night. They had no knowledge of Sigrunn’s outlaw status and welcomed the pair. Though Sigrunn was uncomfortable with the dwarves she supped with them and the men who she thought smelled slightly less offensively.

Unable to eat the last cake, Harard trades it for wine at the miner’s camp. He gave that to the princess when he had his fill and she greedily chugged it, thanking him but reminding him again of his place saying “not tonight hunter, not so easily."

Sigrunn's Saga II

She moves quickly back behind the ridge line and off the trail to avoid further confrontation. Sigrunn moves with deliberate speed across the rough sloping ground until dusk. She stops to rest at a creek, not knowing the source she chances a drink then scouts out a hide where she can rest for the night. She makes a fire and prays for guidance and with her belly empty she drifts off to sleep beside smoldering embers under a starlit sky.

She dreams of a great wooden castle full of riches and dwarfs and a horrible fat witch with arms that reach four fathoms, ending in heavy square hands with fingers thick and hard as ram ’s horns. The witch chases her about the castle and Sigrunn struggled to escape with a companion whose face she could not see, a man she did not know.

Chains would appear from the darkness at the witches command and snake toward Sigrunn and her friend trying to ensnare them. The witch spat curses at Sigrunn and threatened to "devour her living guts as she watched her die". She could not deter the witch with any brave call or command, and desperate from fatigue she invoked the gods’ names and the witch though bothered continued to hound her. Sigrunn felt a thick chain catch her by her neck and awoke abruptly.

Cricket song filled the warm summer night’s air. Bats soared above silhouetted by the moons soft glow. She sat up and noticed she was bleeding again; the wound, just under her jaw was bleeding scratched open again in her disturbed sleep. She stood thinking it near enough to dawn to get moving again. She lit a torch and put her hand against the wound to staunch the flow. She hung her shield over opposite shoulder which caused her right arm to tire as she trudged on.

Sigrunn's Saga

Okay so enough pontificating on celebretards, philosophy or the Navy and Gov't, those guys all get beat up a lot it's hard working in government and the celebretards don't care about negative press. Today I start a new thread, a short story that cuts across a collaborative fiction piece about a barbarian settler and her experiences in this strange land ruled by creatures abhorrent to her, not the least of which is a wizard she is related to by marriage.

Almost sounds like a really bad sitcom. It's something I've been playing with putting together with Alvie there in Pottsville he's busy with soccer coaching or something now so I haven't heard much from him lately but he chimes in when he sees a piece of the Sigrunn story to say how much he's enjoying it. To be fair he is very much to blame for Sigrunn. She cuts across his greyhawk campaign which occurs in the patriots of Ulek time frame CY 570 plus I believe. When we begin Sigrunn has abandoned the settlement at Norn Redding Kragg after a falling out with her uncle the Jarl Har Vor.

***

Sigrunn stained her blond braids red and black with gore as she pulled them away from her face. She let out a triumphant grunt as she freed her axe, one-handed, from the dead priest’s spine. She raised it chest high, just enough so its weight would carry it through his neck. Satisfied she knelt beside the headless corpse and claimed her trophy, wiping her iron blade clean on his frock before returning it to its sheath. She drew a long knife from its hiding place and cut the young man’s scalp away and shook his brain loose into the fine dust of the ancient road. She tied the trophy to a string of others thinking that it will make a fine bowl and she looked forward to drinking her favorite wine from it. She put the knife away and stood, picking up the priests book thinking the leaves would come in handy for cleaning herself and her kit on the way to her destination.

She stopped to kick the dead fool's brain away then strode across the road to recover her helmet. She stepped over the other cleaved men lying motionless face down in the dirt. She didn’t bother to take their unworthy scalps. They had run when she launched herself upon them - only the youngest had the courage to stand against her. When she bent over to recover her helmet she noticed the ox hide strap had been cut away in the fighting. She tugged her gauntlet off and checked her throat and chin, finding her own blood she checked again. “It’s not serious” she thought tying the helmet to her belt and continued down the road to the next village.

Cresting a hill she spotted the first village beneath a dead and ruined castle atop a hillock on the far side of the settlement. “Dwamud” she hatefully spat. She despised the greedy filthy dwarfs who lived under the mountains, especially the weak and soft lot that inhabited this new shore. She spotted a pair making their way up the road toward her singing gaily and she thought briefly of challenging them but then decided to try to speak to them first.

She did her best to look friendly, raising a hand to hail them and they returned her greeting warmly. A few frustrating moments later Sigrunn was finding it impossible to be understood by the little sods and she was beginning to become angry at their rude leering and gesturing. She pushed them aside and bid them farewell. The dwarfs followed her and became louder and more animated so she pulled her axe from its sheath and cut them low leaving them writhing in agony, bleeding to death on the hill road. She decided to bypass the dwarf settlement and continued on her way north towards the mountains that called to her since coming to this shore a season ago.

***

Sigrunn is an angry creature out for blood maybe we should do a kids story...

Well there's your problem...

Dear Greece,

First, thank you for the whole cradle of democracy and such that's pretty awesome, also I've enjoyed molon labe and your amusing mythology. I especially loved touring the ruins on Rhodos / Rhodes and dodging young tuffs out to make a name for themselves by beating up US Sailors visiting the redlight district. Thanks to those poor boys for the night in the brig too, I learned a lot in there like the fact that spiders somehow do find their way onto ships. Imagine that!

Now, what have you been doing since you gave birth to western civilization? I can't help but notice lately the remnants of the Hellenic League have been having some financial problems. I think I might have found a significant contributing factor here. (thank you la times).

A coca-cola bottling operation is your biggest business? Well it was rather since it's now leaving. What happened Greece? You used to be really cool. Coke was an American company, i don't know if you can call it that now it's a multi-national or international conglomerate or something but how did awesome Greece become so inhospitable to businesses worth a paltry $7.6 billion? You know our military spends that in like what 3.4 days right? That's just for TP, hammers and phylacteries.

I want to help out, I really do so here are some ideas. First - invent a new holiday. Make it a big one like Octoberfest, maybe a week long or a whole fortnight.

Invite EVERYONE (except Albania noone likes them).

Give away lots of goodies like beads and T-shirts, New Orleans probably has a lot of beads they don't need since tourism there probably stil hasn't recovered. Maybe you can get Superbowl loser t-shirts from the NFL and give them away?

Hide the Uzo and the really good drugs too - you gotta keep that stuff under control folks there get a bit outta hand sometimes.

Have a contest, you guys are jam packed with islands suitable for habitation and really small and near the others that you could let someone buy a raffle ticket for - maybe a $1 raffle ticket OR let the guy who comes up with the best idea win the island and have HGTV build a super mansion on it. Surely a few construction jobs couldn't hurt right?

Speaking of construction - you guys need to build something new. I know you're surrounded by ruins and sacred temples to every small towns god you don't dare desecrate but really - just pave over that stuff already no body cares! You guys don't even care, the ruins are in such decrepit conditions - the rubble is burning down.

Keep the hot gates, people still want to visit that strand but improve the spa there host a bit costume party or battle re-enactment. In my town (gettysburg pa) we have industrialized the re-enactment scene our economy more or less thrives and at least hums along on a 150 year old battle. You guys can top that you had a much bigger one more than a millenia ago - get that out there.

You want some more help? I'm here for you just make sure I get one of those raffle tickets and tell HGTV I want a lot of unobstructed vies in that island villa.

Staycation

So I'm getting better at navigating the calendar.

Usually at work I'm out maneuvered by everyone taking or scheduling leave so I'm stuck working over the X-mas to New Years break for example, but not this time. I found what I suspect is a little used weekend prior to the Columbus Day holiday.

I could care less about Columbus, a Portugese navigator who discovered an already inhabited place other Europeans had been visiting for some time, and who didn't prove the earth was round (this was known for sometime prior to him) but a day off is a day off so I'm not complaining either.

Yes I had a three day weekend. Wait there's more - I teleworked on Thursday and burnt one leave day for Friday give me a five day holiday to...well in another day and age I might have spent two or three grand on an adventure but money is tight. And though I wrote in TO&S that we have more than we need, under the current economic pressures facing all of us today (gas $4 a gallon or $500 a month for my commute) we have just enough.

So what to do with no disposable cash and a ton of free time? Play with the kids! They were probably sick of me by the time I went back to work today. I know my wife had to be happy to see me go back to the office. Gramma showed up too so she could offer the kids a change of pace and hopefully recharge sanity in the house crazy meter which goes on the fritz when I'm home for 72 hours or more.

I had a nice Columbus day staycation. Why not? I think I'll celebrate that one every year with some telework/leave schedule design to maximize the cheap fun. I think its fitting in the event someone wants to commemorate the day by discovering my living room or backyard the way Columbus did that of the native people of North America. I'll greet them unintelligbly and tell them to go back from whence they came.

There is a silly monument to Columbus in Philly. I miss trips to that city, though it's a deteriorating murder hole, there are some bright spots I enjoyed with my wife there but a trip with the little critters would be too complex logistically. Panda would also make it impossible with her night time insanity - she likes to play with EVERYTHING in hotel rooms and refuses to sleep until those Wild Kingdom people fly overhead and use the tranq gun on her and tag her for future study. Can't take her overnight anywhere, so we saved the money and managed to go to a consignment store somewhere past 1968 and past the big bad wolf's house. I thought I was driving into a Wrong Turn sequel getting there but we survived and found some good clothes for the littlest one.

We won't be calling him that for long, at 5 months he is moving into the same weight class (diaper wise) as the Panda. He could overtake the other two in a few months. I prefer carrying Panda to him since he's all dead weight and at least the Panda can hang on. Though she fidgets a bunch and the little guy is still and snuggly...so it's a toss up. He's better company for a nap.

Stopped at the Five Guys and indulged in free peanuts, water, small burgers, a hot dog and a grilled cheese sammy. If I made that at home would have been maybe $7. At five guys $22. It's pretty insane, but it was soo good. It works out though since no one was really hungry at dinner and we ate campbells soup for $0.23 a serving. It was cold so soup is good. That was Monday night before catching the 3rd quarter of MNF laying in bed next to her drifting off.

Great staycation.  Didn't want to come back to work today.

I would be just as or more productive teleworking but I don't do that again until next week. I have a stack of stuff I can do then but I'll just do now. Time to go fight traffic. I'll be looking for a bottle of Ethos in the mail from my old favorite place to work. Thanks mom.